Boakyewaa Glover's Powerful New Work Unveiled

I’ve sat behind the computer for a while, pondering this post, and I am not quite sure how to properly frame this message. The core of my life is to be witnessed, to be understood, to be seen, fully, without filters.

I wish there was a way for people to see into my heart, my soul, my mind; a way for people to see my intentions, my motives; a way for people to feel, see, and understand my pain, my trauma, my history.

According to Dr. Gabor Mate, the biggest need people have, apart from shelter, food, and physically being held when they’re small, is to be seen and understood; and the essence of trauma is not being seen and understood.

I am desperate to be seen, to exist; my nervous system is screaming. This is why I do all that I do: overexplain, send long messages, try to transmit my pain through third parties, and crave certainty that someone truly knows what I meant.

The need to be witnessed comes from a rupture in early attachment where your internal experience was not mirrored, validated, or protected — and therefore never fully “registered” in another human nervous system.

Human beings regulate themselves through being known. When no one accurately reflects you back, your nervous system stays on alert, scanning endlessly: “Do you see me now?” “Did I come across?” “Did you understand what I meant?”

I wish that were something we could do for each other. I didn’t realise that feeling, that need to be witnessed and seen and validated, was at the core of trauma.

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