Couples must prioritise understanding their partner’s actual desires instead of making assumptions to avoid conflict in marriage, Counselling Psychologist and ADR Practitioner, Counsellor Perfect, has advised.

She made the remarks on Joy Prime’s ‘Let’s Talk’ on Tuesday, during a discussion focusing on gifting, generosity, and the importance of love languages in long-term relationships.

According to Counsellor Perfect, frequently misinterpreting a spouse’s needs and values breeds resentment, potentially leading to marital breakdown. “In marriage, you do what your partner wants, but not what you think your partner will be okay with,” she stated.

The counselling psychologist explained that assuming preferences often creates emotional distance, as individuals tend to project their expectations rather than actively listening to their partner. She stressed the necessity for open and honest communication to truly uncover a spouse’s authentic desires and preferred love language, which, in turn, fosters satisfaction.

Counsellor Perfect also urged couples to challenge preconceived notions of love shaped by their upbringing and societal influences, encouraging them to consciously adopt new perspectives to cultivate a more fulfilling union. “You like acts of service and your partner wants gifts. So give the gifts and let her give acts of service to you. If you don’t understand that, it’ll reach a point where your partner thinks you’re not showing them love,” she explained.

She concluded by reinforcing the concept of diverse love languages, advising couples to express affection in the manner most readily received by their partners, thereby preventing miscommunication and enduring resentment.

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